Monday, February 25, 2013

The day I became the worst mother in the universe


It was this past weekend.

Okay, I'm 100% sure I'm not the worst mother but here's why I feel like it...

I started supplementing with formula. (GASP!)

I've cut back on pumping. I return to work next week. My supply is not keeping up with Hungry Hippo's demand. So, I'm adding formula to some of his bottles of booby juice during the day so I can extend the length of time he's getting BM.

Why do I feel so terrible about doing that? And how do I make this mommy guilt stop? Oh right, you don't. Ever. I imagine.

You know how else I know I'm not a horrible mother? If I were, I probably wouldn't have read Brown Bear, Brown Bear What do you See? to Babycakes over and over for 45 minutes because he loves it and it was the only thing that stopped him from having a meltdown tonight.

I kid you not.

Each time I closed the book, he would scream. Each time I opened it back up and started reading again, he cooed.

I love that little guy.

2 comments:

Sara said...

Cut yourself some slack. You are NOT a bad mama. Mac's been on formula for a while now and you know what...I kinda wish I would have started him sooner. Pumping SUCKS. It was miserable. I don't think it would have been so difficult to keep it up if he had breastfed, but the exclusive pumping is WAY harder than I ever imagined. Do what's best for you. Formula is not poison and it doesn't mean you love your kid any less. (these are things I had to tell myself over and over and over) I get it.

melissa said...

I completely identify with the mom guilt over supplementing with formula. It made me so sad. But (eventually) I realized the alternative was that she go hungry because the breastmilk just wasn't enough for her when my supply started dropping. You're doing what's best for your little guy and he's going to be a happy, healthy baby! Let go of that guilt, friend!